Here goes nothing. My first post and I don't know where to begin. How funny is that? Today I'm feeling quite in a fog. I think I have reached out to blog so that I feel I have a voice, because right now I certainly don't feel my voice is being heard. Feeling a strange low. I'm 40 and not depressed about that number in age. I actually feel grown up, if that isn't so strange. The past two weeks have been an obvious test of my patience and resilience. One thing after another knocking me down like large waves in the ocean of life. What frustration!!!
I named this blog the first day of the rest of my life because I feel this outlet will give me a renewed sense of self and worth and self-worth. If anybody reads this, maybe they can lend a helping hand. Isn't that what we are all on this earth for, helping each other? I also feel I can diary my life in a way that will capture my feelings as I am feeling them and not at a later time, when the true feelings fade. Traditional handwritten journals don't work for me as my penmanship is atrocious and my typing much faster. Well, off I go to the vegetable and meat market. I need some aromatherapy (meaning a nice pot of something yummy perfuming my home). Happy day all!!
Funny how it has been over a month since my first posting. My idea was to have this blog as a platform to vent and hopefully reflect on my own thoughts every day. One of the things I beat myself about is I'm inconsistent. This blog was only proof positive that I am just that. Well, enough beating myself up as the world beats me up enough. I'm learning to love myself more in the sense of being easy on myself. Funny how I can forgive others very quickly, but cannot forgive myself so quickly. Hmmm, counterproductive, but I was proud that I finished 7 loads of laundry, cooked a fabulous dinner of mahi mahi with a chimichurri sauce and it was extremely savory. This court reporting stuff has got me down and out. What should I do next? I love to cook, but where do I start? Not sure I would want to cook for a living. I just love fixing meals and watching my daughter enjoy the flavors. I'm proud that I can give her flavors that I never grew up with. Most things I cook now are a first time experience for the both of us, so it's very sweet. Life in the single mom lane has been wearing me down in the past month and I came to a revelation that my attitude isn't making it any easier. So now I'm working on being a little more positive. I sometimes feel that my life would be fulfilled if I had a loving partner to share my life with, but my energy level doesn't welcome that scenario at all. Well, off I go to shower and get ready for bed, watch some L.A. Ink before I lay me down to sleep. G'night all.
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